Thursday. My last day in the states. Filled with finalizing last minute things:
- Health coverage (the paperwork nightmare must end!)
- Malaria pills (wish I could just pack one of those mosquito-zapping lasers)
- Hep A and B round-2 shots
- Handing off the car to Fashion Athlete
- Seeing my friend’s latest show (her name is Hate, if you knew her you wouldn’t ask why)
- Being dumped off at the airport at 1am, in prep for boarding a plane at the wee hours of the morning.
So, here’s what the final load-out looks like:
In here we have all the things that will be necessary. Shorts, shirts, running shoes, sandals, underwear, socks (only used for running, otherwise it’s sandals all day long), sunscreen, vitamins, Kindle packed with reading material (and fodder for later posts), brand spankin’-new Surface Pro with pressure-sensitive pen for drawing (current scribbles are too embarrassing to post, hopefully I improve over the coming days), windbreaker, coat, jeans, belt, toothbrush, floss, toothpaste, backup glasses (I lose things), ibuprofen, pens, more sunscreen, steri-pen, swimming trunks, goggles, a harmonica and a deck of cards. ’cause, what if I need to strike up an emergency poker game as well as provide rousing blue-grass accompaniment? One must be prepared!
All this in one mammoth backpack that will kill small children if they are unfortunate enough to be standing underneath it when I set it to rest.
So, with this strapped firmly to my back, I’m ready to take on the world. Bring on your worst! Thunderstorms and lightning, I’ve got that covered! Burning sun and sand? No problem! Invading swarms of disease-bearing devil-bugs? There’s a pill for that!
Wait, what’s that? Squirrel beer? Beer that is served… from the taxidermied body of a squirrel?
Come on, world. Stop. Just… stop.